"If I were the Devil" Radio Warning to America Paul Harvey
Originally written as a newspaper column in 1964.
If I were the prince of darkness, I would want to engulf the whole world in
I'd have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I
would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree — thee.
So, I would set about however necessary to take over the United States.
I'd subvert the churches first, and I would begin with a campaign of whispers.
With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: "Do
as you please."
To the young, I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince the
children that man created God instead of the other way around. I'd confide that
what's bad is good and what's good is square.
And the old, I would teach to pray after me, "Our Father, which are in
Then, I'd get organized, I'd educate authors in how to make lurid literature
exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting.
I'd peddle narcotics to whom I could. I'd sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen
of distinction. I'd tranquilize the rest with pills.
If I were the devil, I'd soon have families at war with themselves, churches at
war with themselves and nations at war with themselves until each, in its turn,
And with promises of higher ratings, I'd have mesmerizing media fanning the
If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellect but
neglect to discipline emotions. I'd tell teachers to let those students run wil.
And before you knew it, you'd have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at
every schoolhouse door.
With a decade, I'd have prisons overflowing and judges promoting pornography.
Soon, I would evict God from the courthouse and the schoolhouse and them from
the houses of Congress.
In his own churches, I would substitute psychology for religion and deify
science. I'd lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls and church
If I were the devil, I'd take from those who have and give to those who wanted
until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious.
What'll you bet I couldn't get whole states to promote gambling as the way to
I'd convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun
and that what you see on television is the way to be.
And thus, I could undress you in public and lure you into bed with diseases for
which there are no cures.
In other words, if I were the devil, I'd just keep right on doing what he's